Our phone line has been down since Thursday night, and has only been repaired today. I feel like I have a million things to say - about work, Michael Jackson's death, the kids, the books I'm reading, how much I miss travelling - but I don't even know where to begin anymore. So many words spilling about in my head. I'll try to update properly soon.

I have been up since 6:30 this morning studying, &am currently feeling quite productive. I have been having awful headaches the last 4 days; I spent all of Sunday sick in bed, with the nauseous kind of migraine, and it seemed to carry on through Monday & Tuesday. I feel better today though; hopefully it won't return. I have way too much work to do this week.

I am eager for exams to be over. I miss having time for myself, to do creative things and enjoy working on projects without worrying about the time. There are dozens of letters I want to write to friends, to some of you; scrapbooks I want to finish, emails to catch up on, friends to actually see face-to-face (it's been much too long). Only a week & a half more to go. I always start to feel around this time of the semester that I'm going to lose my sanity, but I'm trying to remember to breathe. I get a little sick of my own company during the day though.

I am working on a new amazon order & blog posts & finding inspiration from other creative people. It's getting me through.

It would have been Dad's birthday today.
Fuck, I miss him so much.
&you know... I still really don't believe sometimes that he's gone. It's been more than 2 1/2 years now, &I still think sometimes that he's just away, but not gone. He's still coming back.

-----

I was talking to a friend at work recently, &I told her about Dad dying, and how I just threw myself into work to cope. She said to me, "but you've dealt with it, right?" and I suppose the right answer is that I don't know if I have; I've blocked it out, pushed it away because if I truly deal with it, it means that I accept that he's gone forever. &I'm not ready to do that.

Happy birthday Daddy. I love you always.

My willpower is terrible; of course I've had to download the leak of Tori's latest album, "Abnormally Attracted to Sin". I know a lot of songs have either leaked or already been performed live, but I managed to resist downloading about half of the leaked songs (particularly the ones with the visualettes, that were released last week). This is my first listen to the album in full & here are my initial thoughts...

( cut for spoilers! )

After months&months of people asking us, "how are your wedding plans coming along?", we're finally making some progress ;]

We have officially set the wedding date for April 17, 2010. Our wedding ceremony is going to be held at the International Rose Garden, in the Botanic Gardens, with our reception at the State Library, cocktail style:

the Rose Garden (when it's in bloom, all the gardens behind the arches are a field of pink petals ♥)

the Library room we are having our reception in! the whole room is floor-to-ceiling bookshelves!

We are actually excited now - roses&books! I think that is a good start to married life :]