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26 January 2004 @ 07:38 pm
stupid lj "politics"  
i bet lots of people think i'm a bitch right now
but i really don't care anymore.

last year i made a vow that i was going to STOP letting people walk all over me, taking me for granted, expecting me to beg for their friendship. and i'm still honouring that. and the other thing i learnt last year was that you can't get tangled up in other people's friendship/relationship problems. things only get messier when there are multiple people involved.

i've had at least 3 occasions where people have either come to me directly or left general messages on their lj's stating that if we had a certain user on our list, they were considering taking us off because they had a "history" with this person. i told all people, all the times, then fine, take me off yr lists. because friends shouldn't make ultimatums like that, especially when the person they're asking have no prior knowledge of this "history" until the time of the ultimatum.

it's a principle thing. chances are if the story was explained to me rationally, without hysterics and melodrama, i'd take the other party off (if i wasn't close to them, which, in all prior cases, i wasn't) by my own choice.

i WILL NOT let other people dictate to me who i can and can not have on MY list in order to be on THEIR'S. it is a principle thing and i've stuck by that for several months now. believe it or not, after talking about it rationally (or emailing at least), most of the people understand.

it's not about fucking "loyalties" or "caring" for people; it's about not getting involved in other people's friendship problems like that.
and if you're the one telling me that i should "be deleted" because i have "those people" on my list, well then maybe i should be the one asking if you really give a shit about me, not you asking me.

i do not beg for friendship. i am not that pitiful or pathetic because if someone doesn't want to be my friend by their own right, then it's a lost cause anyway. you can't speak of loyalty without showing the same yrself.

&by the way, just for the record, "those people" were probably going to come off my list at my next cleanup anyway.
i just resent being "thrown away" so easily simply for even having them there. especially when *I* used to be friends with one of the people involved.
but hey, if that makes you feel like you can't trust me then so be it. like i said: i don't beg.
i know i'm worth more than that.

and if anyone wants to take me off their stupid lists, now really is the time to do it. okay?