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13 October 2006 @ 09:44 pm
funeral  
I guess you could say the funeral was "nice", but what the fuck do you really say about your own father's funeral? Sure, it was nice to hear all the good things people had to say about him, and see all the people who turned up, but bloody hell. He was going to be 60 next year, they all should have been there for his birthday and we should have been telling stories about him then, while he was in the room with us. Not like this, not like this. Noel and I made the memorial cards to be handed out, and it felt like we were just making invitations or something to come to a party for him.

Not a fucking funeral.

I tried to be strong and brave, but I really fucking lost it when I saw his coffin, HE'S MEANT TO BE WITH US STILL not lying there in that box.

So close to his body, but it's not really him.

Oh Daddy, we need you here so badly. You weren't supposed to leave us.
I see your things all around us, and you need them; your life was so full and filled with dreams, and it wasn't meant to be time for you to go.
It feels so cruel and unjust.
You can't be gone, you just can't be.

it's too soon to ever say goodbye
 
 
Tags: daddy
 
 
 
Marnie: morningtypicalfemale on October 13th, 2006 12:28 pm (UTC)
He was going to be 60 next year, they all should have been there for his birthday and we should have been telling stories about him then, while he was in the room with us. Not like this, not like this.

I know how you feel, when my mother's stepfather died (but I was close to him, he was the only grandfather I ever knew) in 2004 there were so many people at the funeral, yet no one hardly ever visited him during his actual life. There was this bitch Joanne who hadn't seen him in ages but showed up at the wake and the funeral to "comfort" my grandmother, and I'm convinced she did it to see if my grandmother would give her some of the money. At funerals people either become greedy or selfish, which is really quite sad.

I honestly cannot believe he was only 60. That's still way too young to go. My heart is with you on this. :(
Marnie: pink flowerstypicalfemale on October 13th, 2006 12:29 pm (UTC)
Ohhh, I misunderstood. He was TURNING sixty, not he was sixty. Still, it's important that you were there and he knew it.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:26 am (UTC)
thankyou, sweetheart.
xx
this is something fiercefreshgreengrass on October 13th, 2006 01:37 pm (UTC)
i'm going to e-mail you today, love. keep strong. you've been so strong. ♥
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC)
i will reply soon. thinking of you, sweetheart. much love.
xxx
quitedorky on October 13th, 2006 01:45 pm (UTC)
keep hanging in there, honey. :(
ivre on October 13th, 2006 01:47 pm (UTC)
I hadn't commented yet on this becuase I was so unsure what to say. I can't even fathom losing a parent, and so anything I could say just wouldn't sound right. But I want you to know I have you and your famliy in my thoughts and am sending all the love I can that way. I'm so, so, so sorry for your loss. Please take care. ♥♥♥
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:16 am (UTC)
thankyou, honey. i appreciate that ♥
jessicasea__secret on October 13th, 2006 01:53 pm (UTC)
*hugs* again, i'm just so sorry jade.
r a c h e l ♥__rubyslippers on October 13th, 2006 02:51 pm (UTC)
♥ & lots of hugs

I hope you got my email.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:17 am (UTC)
i did, sweetheart, i will reply soon, i promise.
thankyou, darling.
funfairs & heartbreak,launderette on October 13th, 2006 03:14 pm (UTC)
*hugs*
everything you post lately is a little difficult for me to read without getting sad, but i want you to know that i'm thinking of you & your family now.
x
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:18 am (UTC)
i understant sweetheart, its okay if you don't read, i know this touches too close to home for you.
love to you darling.
xx
Amanda -: Pride & Prejudicememoryofpetals on October 13th, 2006 06:44 pm (UTC)
That icon...!

*hugs* It is hard to think of doing such party-like planning for such a horrible moment in time. I'm amazed with how strong you've been.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:19 am (UTC)
i don't feel strong at all, but thankyou hon.
xx
   ++   Sparkle Of Life   ++sparkleoflife on October 13th, 2006 11:03 pm (UTC)
*mega huggles* Sweetie I really dont' know what to say ... the funeral was lovely [I've been to some shockers!!] and although your dad is gone in the psyical sense ... no one can EVER take away all the memories that you have of him and the times you had together.

Be strong and call if you need ANYTHING etc - I will see you during the week ... just tell me when! I know your mum is really worried about you ... so you can't avoid me!!! I know where you live =)

PS - I forgot to say yesterday but please tell Leah that her speech was excellent and made me cry! She was so brave to get up there and do it for your dad.
PS x 2 - Sorry for deleting this so many times ... stupid LiveJournal me kept stuffing up the damn codes
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
thankyou so much for coming on friday... i will see you soon honey.
love you.
xxx
(Deleted comment)
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:20 am (UTC)
i love you honey.
xx
m.mothlight on October 14th, 2006 01:14 am (UTC)
{huge hugs} i can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now; please know that i'm thinking of you and your family all the time and i am so, so sorry <3

xo.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 03:23 am (UTC)
thankyou darling.
xx