scarlet's walk (kisstheviolets) wrote,
scarlet's walk

Sometimes I don't understand my own naivity.

It's one thing to be positive and to think that everything will work out for the best... it's quite another to hide behind the shadows, and refuse to acknowledge anything that is remotely bad. I like to think that I belong to the first category - only when I'm truly depressed does it seem that the sun will never shine again - but I think I also suffer from a bad case of denial. I like to deny that anything is ever wrong, and this isn't all good. After all, how can you fix something that you don't think is broken?

I've been reading through some old journal entries, and the innocence that streams through my words at times makes me wince. My words overflow with sunshine and all things shiny, and it seems so.. fake. I can't even take myself seriously sometimes.

All I want to do is be positive, but I'm having trouble believing in myself these days. I wish someone could show me that it's not so bad to see the silver lining, even when I am feeling down. It's like I feel guilty if I let myself think good thoughts these days, and that can't be a healthy thing. I shouldn't let myself get so down, but sometimes it just can't be helped.


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