January 27th, 2002

butterfly girl : where she goes when she

searching for a muse

Waking up a good 4 hours before expecting to, and actually BEING awake brings about a certain sense of freedom, and for the first time in long time, a sense of relaxation. I've missed having free time and no guilt.

Kiss the Rain, by Billie Myers has always been a theme song of sorts, at least for the last 8 months or so, but today it feels particularly appropriate. I don't know if that's been inspired by the poem written on the inside of the cd cover, or the new meaning found in words sung on repeat "keep in mind, we're under the same sky, and the night, has ended for me, as for you...". Or maybe I'm just touched by a memory and inspired by a dream. I need a new muse.

And I miss singing. Charlotte wants us all to perform at her 25th birthday, but I just can't find the words to sing, nor the ability. These days I'm limited to singing in the cash room upon the end of the day, but it's all nothing new. I know it's in me to sing if I put my mind to it, but like everything else that's loved these days, it's been put into a box hidden on the shelf until a day when I have the time to commit to a talent. Sometimes it feels as though the days will go on forever, but in reality? - time is running out.