April 21st, 2002

butterfly girl : where she goes when she

not so impossible after all

Last night I saw "Crossroads" with some girls from work. Despite the obvious cheesiness, I actually liked the film somewhat - if for nothing else, but the idea of getting in the car and driving right across the country to follow your dream. Imagine just waking up, and deciding that you HAVE to do something, just grabbing some friends, and with barely a second thought, heading off, with no plan, only a goal and a destination in mind. Maybe it's not so impossible after all.

I have these ideas about going interstate next year to study performing arts. There are some Open days coming up within the next few months at different colleges, and now I have this dream of just grabbing a couple of friends, getting into the car, and driving away to check out these places. Perhaps it would give me a better idea of what exactly I'm applying for; or perhaps it would give me a sense of that much sought after independence. The idea of going interstate to follow some crazy dream of living some sort of life in the creative world once seemed insane, unattainable, unmentionable, but now? - perhaps that's just what I'm looking for to break free right now.

You spend so long, trying to live a life of doing things to please other people, doing what you think is best, not what you want. You ignore your heart's desires to do what you think might bring stability; you deny risks in favour of taking the safe routes. You dream large, but think nothing of making those dreams come true, or believe that it will never happen. I know. I did it, for too, too long.

I felt inspired by last night's movie showing. Maybe things are different in the movies, but it only goes to show that sometimes, you really have to follow your heart, and do what you think will eventually bring you the most happiness.
butterfly girl : where she goes when she


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