So forgive me for being "back", but not being able to read anyone's pages or entries.
Good news thought is that the house I'll be moving into at the end of this week [!!] has internet connection. So then I really will catch up.
So here I am, on the East Coast. It's been about 5 days since I left Adelaide, and it's all been so up and down since I've been here. I got sick on my 2nd day here, and add to the fact loneliness and missing everyone back home, I can't say that that was one of my better days here. Allowing doubt to take over was one big mistake: "what made me think I could do this? I don't know how I thought I could make it up here", yet being unwell + 2000km away from home + being alone made the situation seem all the more overwhelming.
Friday was the day when everything started to happen. Meeting my penpal Farah of 7 years, coming up to uni for the first time, going to Brisbane, meeting my new housemates. It's wondeful how actually doing the stuff that seemed overwhelming, only makes it less scary later on. The uni I'm at is gorgeous, and Brisbane is a lovely city, for lack of a better word to describe it. I feel sad without having my groups of friends with me to enjoy it, but the lesson i've been learning here is just to give things time.
I started writing again this weekend. Pages upon pages of poetry, song lyrics, random quotes. And it felt so good to be writing again, because it seems like it's been so long. Being here, being so far away, in some small, strange way, is inspiring me. It's encouraging me to keep working harder, harder, harder at what I do, don't give up, and don't stop believing that things will happen. It's so hard to be up here so far away from everyone I love, and yet, I know that deep down, I've made the right decision in coming here.
It's going to get harder, but I know that it's going to get easier too.
We make our own destiny's, and we create our own self-fullfilling prophecys. And this one is mine. And maybe the tears are falling out of loneliness and fear, the heart is craving to be with the one who's touch will always affect me, and the mind is constantly remembering certain people, certain actions, certain smiles that i'll not see for some time now; but this will only fuel the spark inside of me to create, live, BE.
I've taken the first step. Now, let the music begin.