it's been one of those days in which i haven't really felt like doing anything, and yet, i still did them - i guess i can feel sort of proud of that now, that i didn't give in to apathy. it was very tempting to skip my 8am Creative Industries lecture this morning, but by force of will, made myself get out of bed, and arrived at uni by 7:30am, actually somewhat wide awake. the same happened with dance tonight - tuesday's are jazz+tap night, a good 2 1/2 hours of dancing all at once, and sometimes it can feel a little overwhelming. the temptation to skip out, 1) because i hadn't practiced my tap and my teacher was bound to notice (actually, she didn't, in fact, she commented that i had improved over the last week...), and 2) my modern dance talk is tomorrow, and i wasn't completely prepared, and didn't think i would feel like working on it when i came home from dance at 9:30pm. but the thought that i had already paid for the lessons, have already missed out on too many classes this month that i'm not sure if i'll be able to make up, and berating myself for thinking about being lazy made me go, and i'm pretty glad i did. it often happens with dance - feeling as though it's all too much beforehand, but actually enjoying it during the time there. rock on. luckily, there have been very few days in which i haven't wanted to go to dance (and usually only when i'm overwhelmed with other events), so please don't think this is a habit of sorts.

as for the modern dance talk; it's the third assigment due in the 3 days, and all i can say is that at least it's written. now, how well it will actually go when i have to present it tomorrow morning is a whole other story, but right now, i'm so over doing assignments that as long as i can pretend to know what i'm talking about, its all good. sometimes my modern dance class can be a little... well, lets just say that the other girls in the class look as though they have been dancing since before they could walk, and they know it too. i feel a little inadequate at times, simply because i know i haven't had all the previous training that they have, and right now, i'm just trying to play catch up. however, i think i'll just be hoping that my talk in tomorrow's tutorial will be so boring, that all of them will fall asleep and won't listen anyway.

and the even better news is that after ringing around, looking for a new place to take my 3 ballet lessons a week (after my former school changed it's timetable around, of which 2 of the classes i couldn't attend due to uni + other dance classes on at the same time), i found somewhere to go, and the best part is, i'm being put into a higher grade than what i have been studying (Elementary now, instead of Pre-El). it's going to be much more of a challenge, but as my tap teacher said to me tonight: "i'm going to make it harder so you have to think". when i don't have to think about what i'm doing, it probably means i'm not doing a very good job. it's nice to have a challenge, especially when it's something i really care about.