Today has been my first lovely day [so far] since I got back from Adelaide, like those days I used to have in the beginning when I first moved up here. Although waking up at 5:30am was a struggle - I berated myself for agreeing to go to a 7:30am ballet class (and pointe, no less -- just something simple, ya'know? ha), but the class was great. The teacher I have for it is wonderful, and for the first time in awhile, I didn't leave the class feeling out of depth and wondering exactly what I'm trying to achieve here. There was only one other girl in the class, who's 23, and it was refreshing to finally be with people my age in a ballet class, instead of so many barely older than half my age. The teacher gave me a lot of feedback about my dancing and helped me with things I could improve, and in doing that, I actually noticed myself improving. He made me do steps over and over, and it was wonderful to hear him encouraging me as I got better and better. Just in the last few days with this teacher, I've learnt new things, such as arabesques and pirouettes on pointe -- I never had the confidence to do them before.
I'm now taking eight dance classes a week now. 6 ballet [3 of which are pointe], 1 jazz, 1 tap. Insanity. Russell, Jane and Nathan tell me that I'm going to wear myself out, but it's all good. With this much dancing, I can only get better, and in turn that does much for my self-doubt. It's nice to be kept busy doing this.
Today I met up with 2 friends from uni, Sarah and Rebecca, and we ran around town as Beck took photos for her assignment. We went into the Botanical Gardens, and took photos of Sarah + I swinging from trees, climbing upon the branches, getting sprayed by the sprinklers on the lawn. In this one photo, I'm crouched down in the knot where all these tree roots surround, with hair covering my face, camouflaged from the world. Sometimes I wish I could stay like that, but not today.
Today is a day of sunshine, glitter, photos, friendship, listening to The Sound of Music (and Lisa McCune really can sing!), reading White Oleander. Today is a day of believing that I'm doing the right thing, of living now and not in a future that I don't know of yet, and of feeling stability, however fleeting it may be. I need this.