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31 January 2003 @ 01:05 pm
pros and cons  
I am seriously considering moving back to Adelaide.

Reasons for leaving Queensland and moving back to Adelaide.

1. Money - it would be much cheaper to live with my parents until I get a job, instead of paying rent and buying food using the money the government give me. It's so tight at the moment - I have my savings that I earned over the summer to help me out for now, but if that runs out before I find work, then I'm in a lot of trouble, financial-wise. I currently get around $350 a fortnight from the government, and for rent and food, it costs me $125 a week (approx). That leaves me with $50 a fortnight to buy petrol, newspapers, and anything else that I might need.

If I was living back at home, I wouldn't have to pay rent or buy food (until I got a job), and I would still get *some* money from the government (Newstart allowance - oh, okay, the dole, so I wouldn't be completely pov, like I am up here.

On this same note, I could also afford to take a dance class or two, even while still looking for work, back in Adelaide, because all my money wouldn't be going on just surviving. Dancing always helped me, whether I was back home or here, and not being able to take classes at the moment isn't helping much either.

2. Support networks - mainly friends and family and Russ, who are all people I can turn to, either when I'm feeling down about jobhunting, or need help with something. Up here in Queensland, I mainly only have my 2 housemates, whom I've only known for a few months, compared to knowing some of my friends in Adelaide since school. I also have a couple of relatives, one set of whom are moving back to Adelaide soon anyway. I also have 1 or 2 friends up here - but that's compared to the many good friends I have back home.

In other words, I feel isolated up here, and now that I'm not studying, meeting people and connecting with them is a lot harder to do, as uni classes are always a good starting point. I'm not working either, which makes it doubly hard to meet new people. At least back home, I have a support network already - meeting new people is a bonus.

3. My original reason for moving up here has changed - lets face it, if I hadn't decided to come to uni up here, I never would have moved to Brisbane last year the way I did. My reason for moving was because I wanted to study and this was the only place that had the course I wanted. Now all I want to do is just get a job, and preferably a career. I could very easily do that back in Adelaide. There is no real reason for me to be up here in Queensland at the moment - especially when I don't have a job, or basically anything to tie me up here.

4. I could move out back in Adelaide - the main reason I wanted to come back to Queensland this year was for the freedom, the independence. But if I move back to Adelaide, I could move out of home down there anyway. The cost of living is actually cheaper in Adelaide as well. That way, I could have my independence and freedom, but still have my friends, family, and support networks.

Now that I'm back in Queensland, with this freedom, I actually feel very lonely. (however, this may be because I've only *just* come back from Adelaide - would I still feel this way in a month's time?)

5. Safety - I feel safer in Adelaide. This is something that has only just come up as an issue, particularly after the domestic violence incident the other night. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be exposed to any of that back in Adelaide, because I probably would - but again, relating back to support networks, I don't need to handle it on my own. I have people I can turn to and talk to about it.

6. Lifeline - I did a training course there last year as a volunteer phone counsellor. I'm thinking that if I move back to Adelaide, I could redo the training course, and work on the phones for awhile, which would be excellent experience. The field of work I want to get into is youth/community work, particularly with social issues, and this type of experience would be perfect. I could do that up here in Queensland - but I already know the people at the Adelaide centre, and they may remember me from the training course there.

7. Comfort zones - yes, Adelaide is a comfort zone, it is easy. I feel safe there - smothered at times, but lately I've been thinking that it's better to feel smothered, yet safe and away from harm, than being independent and scared to death of everything. I don't know how well I'm coping with all this freedom, basically.

8. Russell - if I'm going to be honest, he IS a reason why I'd want to return - however, not THE reason. I love him, I want to be with him, and I miss him like crazy up here; however, if I go back to Adelaide, it has to be for so much more than just one person.

Reasons for staying in Queensland

1. Freedom and independence - I feel like moving interstate, for whatever reason, has been a giant step forward for me. I didn't even think I'd move out of home last year, let alone 2000km to another state - doing so, and enjoying it up here was a huge boost. It was like proving something, not just to other people (people back home were quite surprised when I made my decision - it was pretty unexpected of me to just pack up and move interstate), but to myself. It was empowering.

If I moved back home, would it be like taking 2 steps backwards? Admitting that it was too hard? Would I be ashamed of myself for giving up too easily?

However, I could also move out of home back in Adelaide (as already mentioned), and I think that although it's not the same level, it would still be freedom - and probably I would be able to handle it much better.

2. Giving it a proper go - it's only been 3 days since I came back, after all. I'm still missing everyone back in Adelaide because I only just saw them last weekend. After some time, it will probably get easier, and I'll think about my friends and keep in contact, but will put more efforts into my friends here in Brisbane, because... well, they're here. It probably is too early to tell.

However, I feel like I ought to start making some sort of decision soon... we'd need to find someone to take over my share of the lease at this place, not to mention with job hunting - if I'm thinking I'll just go back to Adelaide, my energies in jobhunting here will be zero. I need to make a decision, a firm decision as to where I want to be, so I can start planning and jobhunting accordingly.

3. People thinking that I just gave up - this is really a rather shallow reason to stick at something - just because you don't want people judging you and thinking badly of you for the decisions you've made. But I have to admit, I liked that I surprised people by moving, and there is a big part of me that thinks, "what will they think if I move back home?" But I know that's petty, and that the people who really care about me, won't judge me.

Sticking with something just to please other people is a bad reason though, because you have to live your life for you, not other people.

4. I've accomplished something - if I hadn't moved to Queensland last year, basically my life would be very much the same it was in high school. Moving interstate was an achievement of some sort - a way of saying that I've "done" something worthwhile. I feel that moving back to Adelaide would be giving that up too quickly.

5. Possibility of regrets - I could move back to Adelaide, be happy and comfortable for a couple of months, and then remember what drove me to escape so much. This is such a good opportunity, that not everyone has the chance to do - if I gave that up, I could regret it in a few months time. I wouldn't be able to do it again for some years, most likely.

6. My housemates - I have a very good living situation with Jane and Pat here. Even if I moved out back in Adelaide, there is no guarantee that the living situation would be as ideal as it is up here. I lucked out with the house, the people, etc - do I throw all that away for being homesick?

I think that's about it. I don't know what to do....
ex_snowcanwa171 on January 30th, 2003 07:07 pm (UTC)

Eeek... it's a really hard decision isn't it. Looking at all those pros and cons I'm not surprised you're having trouble! *hugs*

Would you like to meet up this weekend and have a coffee and talk about it face to face? I'd be happy to meet up with you in the city if you think that would be helpful...

Love you lots xxxx
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on January 30th, 2003 07:36 pm (UTC)
darling -- i would LOVE to meet up with you and talk about it (and anything else, of course!) this weekend. that would be such a help - i have so many thoughts running around in my head about it, and i'm confusing myself even!
let me know when a good time for you will be - i'm free until 1pm tomorrow, and all day sunday -- actually, i think i will just ring you soon ;)
[ps: thankyou.xo]
ex_snowcanwa171 on January 30th, 2003 07:48 pm (UTC)

Could you give me a ring tonight maybe? My home number is 3256 1556 and I'll be home after 6pm (I'm at uni studying... and reading lj compulsively :)... at the moment) and I'd love to talk to you then. Sunday is probably best for me, I'd love to meet up then.

Love you lots xxxxx
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on January 30th, 2003 07:55 pm (UTC)
sure thing - i'll ring you later on this evening :) and sunday would be good.
don't study too hard, okay?
love you right back xox.
Cindyferrety on January 30th, 2003 07:13 pm (UTC)
that is a very very hard decision. *hugs*.

if it were me, i would choose to move back to adelaide.

i love you.
Crystalcrystalina on January 30th, 2003 07:38 pm (UTC)
*hugs* sounds tough dear.

i'd probably choose adelaide...but i'm not you of course. i think that since you are looking for a career then you are right, you could do that as easily in adelaide.

however, you offer good points about staying in queensland. especially the possibility of regrets. BUT, try not to worry about what everyone else will think of you.

*hugs* good luck.
a life without love? that's terrible!monday_fever on January 30th, 2003 07:57 pm (UTC)
Personally, I would choose Adelaide. It just seems like you'd be happier, in your entries from there you seemed sobreathtakinglyhappy.

*Hug* Good luck in choosing. :) <3
*wannabeflapper on January 30th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
Hmm those are some seriously thought-out pros/cons and both have really good reasons...
I would have to go against popular opinion and advocate staying Queensland. At least for awhile. If you are totally miserable after you've waited it out longer, then of course go back.. but definitely try Queensland on for awhile, maybe you just need to settle into it.
Patrickpadraiceen on January 30th, 2003 10:47 pm (UTC)

I think that your life in Adelaide is more... shall we say... sheltered? It's wonderful to be protected and safe within reach of those we love and can depend on, but sometimes, we have to live beyond that, in order to grow. I think that you're right in saying that three days honestly does not constitute a proper go.

Give it a chance.
delicatewings on January 30th, 2003 11:42 pm (UTC)
queensland or adelaide? i know its such a hard decision for you to make. i'm not sure what to tell you except do what you feel like doing. follow your gut instinct. if you're heart really isn't in Queensland, than its not the place for you. but than again, you really should give it a few more days...maybe weeks? see how things settle down.
take care. i hope you less confused and better soon.

chocolate swirls,
Barbi the goblinbarbithegoblin on January 31st, 2003 12:10 am (UTC)
phew.hard hard.
still i think i'd wait a little more and then see.just give queensland a chance and then you'll see...and NEVER consider giving up as something to be ashamed of, but remember, "it takes more strenght to cry, admit defeat"!
i'd been in your shoes, and was so close to giving up many times, but i didn't, and it paid off eventually.well, this wasn't quite like moving interstate, but still.a big step for me.
and if you think that you haven't achieved anything for you're willing to give it up now, then think of the fact that you actually studied there and completed your course successfully!that's a big thing.
by the way, let me know what's your starsign for i'm really wondering.

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on January 31st, 2003 12:12 am (UTC)
i'm a virgo :)
Effortlessly Controversialmoonborn on January 31st, 2003 12:31 am (UTC)
Barbi the goblinbarbithegoblin on January 31st, 2003 12:58 am (UTC)
so we're online at the same time-weird!
what time is it there?i suppose sg but i wonder about the exact difference!
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on January 31st, 2003 01:12 am (UTC)
it's 7:15pm here right now, Friday :)
Barbi the goblinbarbithegoblin on January 31st, 2003 04:16 am (UTC)
thanks!i'm at work in the meanwhile, constantly being interrupted...ha!:)
starlin on January 31st, 2003 07:21 am (UTC)
i think the only thing you can really do is give it time.

if you were to go back now, you'd probably always wonder 'what if..' you know?

stay and see what happens. and do it for -you-. do it to see your inner strength, throw yourself out into the world and just see where it takes you. if with time, things aren't improving at all, then consider going back. but the beginning is always the absolute roughest.
Simonemonielove on January 31st, 2003 08:53 am (UTC)
I think in your heart you will know what the best thing to do is..after you have enough time to really think it through and listen to yourself..but if you were to ask me I would have to go against popular opinion as well, and advocate for staying in Queensland, atleast for a little while.
I'm modelling this on personal experience..there have been many times that I have thought about packing everythign up and moving home--even a couple of weeks ago when i first got back here I was feeling that way. I am feeling better now though-- I still miss home and the people there so much--but I started to feel happier when i realized all the things that I can do here& the oppertunities I ahve that I'd never have in Victoria. It's hard though, because i still feel like I am caught in between two places..but still, it seems like everytime I think of leaving, something happens and it's like the stars conspire to keep me here :) I think it's because there are still things I am meant to learn, and ways I am meant to grow while being here.. Also, because it has been hard I am really proud of myself for everythign I ahve accomplised..So, maybe that is some food for thought 4u.
Maybe there is more for you to discover too?
d-elicatehandsdown on January 31st, 2003 04:29 pm (UTC)
listen to simone
Simonemonielove on January 31st, 2003 05:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you Deva.
mellowtraumatic on February 1st, 2003 09:28 am (UTC)
Follow your heart. <3