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15 March 2003 @ 02:00 pm
why am i so tired all the time?!
... nevermind.

i love my friends, i really do. they honestly mean the world to me, and i feel so terribly lucky that i've pretty much come back from queensland with even more friends than when i left. i always held these doubts about certain people, but when it comes down to it, people have a lot more loyalty than you'd give them credit for. for once, i don't feel a need to be anyone else other than who i am.

i've started to feel like i need to censor myself online these days. and i hate that, but i'm sick of feeling that anything i say could anger, upset, or offend someone else. i'm sick of feeling as though if i write what i feel, someone's just gonna get mad at me for feeling that way. and normally i wouldn't care, but right now, it seems that just keeping quiet is the only way to go.
starlin on March 14th, 2003 10:20 pm (UTC)
for once, i don't feel a need to be anyone else other than who i am.
AAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWww sweetheart that is wonderful. i'm so happy for you. but i don't want you feeling like you have to censor your journal? i respect anything you wish to say. but do what's best and you can always talk to me on AIM if you'd like. <3
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on March 15th, 2003 07:05 pm (UTC)
*hugs* thankyou darling - i appreciate that. i do hope to get to talk to you on aim again sometime soon!
jessicaskitzjez on March 14th, 2003 11:52 pm (UTC)
you souldnt sensor what you feel for fear of offending someone, for one reason because it is your journal and the whole point of a journal is to express yourself, and for another that if you sensor yourself then you're not being yourself and you're denying yourself the freedom of expression as well as other people the change to get to know the real you
delicatewings on March 15th, 2003 12:27 am (UTC)
dont' censor yourself dear. you really don't need to do that. like you told me once, this is your journal you have the right and are able to write down whatever it is you'd like to express. it is YOUR journal. i know you hate feeling that way. i hated feeling like i had to hide from everyone for awhile too. but these feelings comes and goes from time to time, remember that.

"for once, i don't feel a need to be anyone else other than who i am. "

*hugs* and i'm so happy for you. you should feel that way. you deserve to feel that way dear.

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on March 15th, 2003 07:11 pm (UTC)
you're right, these feelings do come and go, no doubt in a week's time i'll be back to my "who cares if they don't like what i write!" phase. i guess i just don't like upsetting people - especially friends. it's not something i can be bothered with, especially on the internet right now.
but hey, people can delete me if they want, so i shouldn't be so worried about censoring myself when no-one is making anyone else read this ;)

thankyou for your support, always, hon.
vegan recipes & infonuttyvegan on March 15th, 2003 04:03 am (UTC)
I don't see why people feel they have the right to feel pissed at you depending on what you write here. this is your place, do what you want with it. and vent if you need to vent. {{hugs}}
tongue-tied twisted: dysFUNctionalbloomingseed on March 15th, 2003 06:45 am (UTC)
no no no! no censoring allowed, jade! this is your space, to do with what feels right for *you*. please don't censor it or worry about anyone else. if they don't like what you have to say for some reason, then they can choose not to read. although i can't imagine you offending anyone! you're lovely. i hope you keep writing, and always write for yourself. life is too short to walk on eggshells, especially in a forum that is meant for self-expression.
(and hooray to having fun and great friends!)
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on March 15th, 2003 07:02 pm (UTC)
awww, thankyou, darling. it's a nice reminder *hugs*
Simonemonielove on March 15th, 2003 08:21 am (UTC)
sometimes i feel that way too.. so i understand where you are coming from. I think you have a really great group on friends on here ( from what I can tell :) )--so maybe just make all your posts friends only?
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on March 15th, 2003 07:01 pm (UTC)
actually, i feel like i need to censor FROM people on my friends list these days. no-one in paricular... just a general feel i get from reading their journals, and reading about things they don't want to hear about, you know? but i'm just over-reacting, i guess :)
Simonemonielove on March 16th, 2003 12:36 am (UTC)
well, I still like reading yours and I won't make any judgement on what you should be writing about or not writing about :)
bianbian on March 15th, 2003 10:52 am (UTC)
I know all about censoring and thats exactly the way I've been for the past year. I really hope you don't have to feel that way forever (as I do). This is what happens when your boyfriend finds your journal and reads the whole thing. Then you tell him where your next one is, so he'll know it won't be too personal and he won't read it. Long story, but you know what I mean.

I hope these feelings for you pass soon..I love your writing!
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on March 15th, 2003 06:59 pm (UTC)
yeah... i remember when all that happened, i think! but that's why i got a livejournal - i used to have just an open diary, but at least with lj you can lock entries... so i don't worry too much about censoring from people i know, it just feels like i need to censor from the people i *don't* know :P
bianbian on March 15th, 2003 07:30 pm (UTC)
People you don't know? Jeez, that sucks even more (maybe not). I hope it all works out though!!
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on March 15th, 2003 11:44 pm (UTC)
hehe, it will be okay, i'm just making a big deal out of nothing, really :)
bianbian on March 16th, 2003 07:47 am (UTC)
Thats good to hear then. I make big deals out of nothing sometimes too, so I know how you feel.

(Its been cool talking to you though! Even through here. :) I miss you!)
hearts streaked across the skieslikeyesterday on March 16th, 2003 01:33 am (UTC)
*hugs* say whatever you want to say.
it doesn't matter; it's YOUR journal
so say what you want to say. xxx.
carmelitatoomanystars on March 16th, 2003 03:35 am (UTC)
I said this to someone only a few days ago: if you can't write what you want to in your own journal, it's not worth having a journal at all.