sometimes everything just seems all over the place. this morning i woke up with no job; then i was offered 2. i declined the one at the nutrition clinic, the one that i once said would be my "ideal job", but it's funny how a little information can make all that turn around 180degrees. she wasn't too happy, and called me back to say that if i changed my mind, she was leaving the job open for a few more days. just in case. and it makes me feel even worse for saying no, but what can you do? still, it's the story of my life. believe it or not, this is the 3rd time in my life i've been offered more than 1 job at a time. one time was actually 3 jobs i got offered. it's always been decisions, yet making the wrong one can only turn out bad. but how do you know? as selma, russ's mum said this morning: "oh, i didn't realise there was a fork in the road". and i've turned my back on everything i said previous to today about working and what i wanted... but i'm happy with my decision. sometimes you have to do the things you said you wouldn't do. sometimes you have to seek opportunity in other places, and not just the most obvious ones.

i start on the 14th of april. i have a week off as they're short-staffed next week, and the supervisor wants to make sure i get all the attention i'll need during my first week. so it's nice to know i have some extra time off before starting, just to get myself together. the idea of really having a full-time job is completely overwhelming. maybe unbelievable is the better word to use. its something i wanted, but didn't believe would get. not now, not yet. and i'm lucky, so lucky, because i only went for interviews with 2 jobs since i got back from queensland, and wound up getting both of them. not everyone can have that luxury of choice.

i might not want a future in insurance and investments, but in a company like this, i'm on my way to having a career :) that's what i've always wanted, and russ says, "i want a career now too!" not just working, but working towards something. i always needed to have a drive. i always needed to push myself. now i can start over.

------

god, i'm so, so glad i came back home. what with my ex-housemates acting like psycho money-hunters the other night (long story, unhappy ending... but who really cares anyway?), and all my wonderful friends i have here in adelaide... i can't believe there was ever really a decision to be made. it was just a matter of time in the end.