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17 September 2003 @ 09:06 am
every day is a new beginning  
i never used to be a morning person, but i've realised lately that morning is my favourite time of the day. mornings are when everything starts over again, the day is new, and, as a quote that the lovely enchantedmoon put on the gorgeous webpage she made me for my birthday (&which i absentmindedly forgot to mention before) says, "the best thing about a new day is that there are no mistakes in it yet". i always feel more hopeful in the mornings - more inspired to do things, more positive that things are going to get better.

i seem to lose all my positivity at night. maybe there's something about the darkness outside that stirs the darkness that's inside of me; i seem to fear so much more in the night. but i don't wish to dwell on that right now; for it is morning, and i am at work, with plenty to do, and that always relaxes me in the strangest of ways. tonight i'm meeting with russell to go shopping for chicago on dvd[!!!], which is the other part of my birthday present from him (the first parts being a terry pratchett book, and the flowers that were delivered to my desk on monday), and i'm hoping to get lots of hugs as well. if there's one good thing about the night, its the hugs.

each day is a new beginning. &every second is a chance to turn it all around. they were phrases that i sprouted off so easily in the past; now it's time to start believing in them. the morning is here, the day is just beginning, and that means that anything is possible. i came to start expecting the worst, but if it's all about self-fulfilling prophecies, then maybe i should start to expect that maybe, just maybe, things will be okay.
Dark Little Childlunastorm on September 16th, 2003 05:06 pm (UTC)
I agree about morning. I like very early morning anyway, just as the sun rises. But the BEST thing about it is the fact that it feels like all the idiots of the world have gone away. That's why I love the morning. They've all gone away, and left fresh air and peace.
emilayo on September 16th, 2003 07:24 pm (UTC)
You and I are in alot of way similar. I get the hopelessness and depression sometimes too. Although mines seem to come around "that time of the month" or when I'm very tired. Maybe thats why you get so sad and down at night time, your wore out, your tired, your body is telling you it needs sleep and you don't let it. Maybe just maybe... I know thats not all of it, but tiredness never helps anyways emotional state. I'm glad to see your doing better though, I want to give you the biggest hug ever and tell you that you will be fine, because your stronger than you think you are.
emilayo on September 16th, 2003 07:25 pm (UTC)
I meant to say "anyones emotional state" not anyways... oops :)
(Anonymous) on September 16th, 2003 09:24 pm (UTC)
i havent been around for a week and THIS is what i come back to?!

like everyone eklse, i started posting a comment to the entry about russells email that started OH MY GOD HOW DARE HE... and then i stopped because i couldnt think of a next line and i realise that i cant think of a next line because the next line should be HOW DARE YOU. you throw everything up in his face, you take him for granted and you expect everything from him. you get so angry everytime he betrays you, even if he has nothing but the best intentions, and then you, with no intentions other than to feed your self pitty, betray HIM but reading his email not once, but TWICE, and then get angry at him for it! that is the most selfish thing i have ever heard of. HOW DARE YOU! he has done nothing to you and i dont blame him for saying what he did, i wouldnt want to be living with you at the moment and it sounds like he isnt coping, but keeps going anyway. you dont deserve him.

and i dont even want to know what was posted in the deleted entry, not to mention the fact that you rang someone and asked them to post that you were going into hospital without giving details simply to worry everyone here who cares about you. why would you do that except to gain attention and have everyone feel sorry for you?

you are the most selfish person i know.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 03:55 pm (UTC)
nice to know you are confident enough in your words to post this as an ANONYMOUS comment. mind telling me who you ARE at least (obviously you're someone on my friends list since you've read all my friends-only entries); why hide behind an anonymous comment to tell me what you really think?

i may be selfish, but at least i'm not gutless.
tip me over and pour me outambrosiangel on September 16th, 2003 10:30 pm (UTC)
Hey sweetie---
I'll have some quotes from Thoreau for you in the morning...they are everything I've been thinking of lately and you may appreciate them, too! :)

Take Care :)
... I move the stars for no one ...amber_starcat on September 20th, 2003 01:49 pm (UTC)
i added you...I hope you don't mind.

happy happy birthday!!!

I love this: &every second is a chance to turn it all around
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 21st, 2003 01:34 am (UTC)
thankyou! of course i don't mind, i added you straight back hon :)