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18 September 2003 @ 08:27 am
anonymous comment  
okay. would whoever wrote this in response to my last entry at least own up to it??

i havent been around for a week and THIS is what i come back to?!

like everyone eklse, i started posting a comment to the entry about russells email that started OH MY GOD HOW DARE HE... and then i stopped because i couldnt think of a next line and i realise that i cant think of a next line because the next line should be HOW DARE YOU. you throw everything up in his face, you take him for granted and you expect everything from him. you get so angry everytime he betrays you, even if he has nothing but the best intentions, and then you, with no intentions other than to feed your self pitty, betray HIM but reading his email not once, but TWICE, and then get angry at him for it! that is the most selfish thing i have ever heard of. HOW DARE YOU! he has done nothing to you and i dont blame him for saying what he did, i wouldnt want to be living with you at the moment and it sounds like he isnt coping, but keeps going anyway. you dont deserve him.

and i dont even want to know what was posted in the deleted entry, not to mention the fact that you rang someone and asked them to post that you were going into hospital without giving details simply to worry everyone here who cares about you. why would you do that except to gain attention and have everyone feel sorry for you?

you are the most selfish person i know.

i'm not going to defend myself, everything is true but you know what, i already realise that i'm selfish, i'm horrible to russell, and i've made people worry. and believe me, i don't like myself for it. so whoever wrote this, your pathetically anonymous comment just made me laugh, because you're not telling me anything i don't already know. at least use your name when you write comments like this -- don't hide away or else i only think you're ashamed of what you've said.

and why be ashamed when you believe it's true? why be ashamed when i am agreeing with you and saying that yes, it IS true?


anonymous comments don't bother me, save for the fact that someone that i thought i could trust on my friends list thinks this about me, and won't own up to it. tell me who you are at least?
(dancingonstars@ hotmail.com)
robinbruised on September 17th, 2003 04:38 pm (UTC)
this is pretty much why i took the road of 'friends only'. someone was jumping on my back for small things and i had no idea who the person was. i'm sorry, jade. it wasn't me.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 04:53 pm (UTC)
*hugs* thanks Robin :) i know i can trust you.
i know it has to be someone ON my friends list already as they could read ALL the posts, but i really have no idea who it is, which makes it difficult. i went through my list just before and just couldn't imagine any of the people on it saying that - especially in an anonymous comment. i don't mind that they DID say it - as i said, it was already what i thought anyway, it was nothing new! - but i don't like the thought that someone that i put trust in to read my friends-only entries thought that of me but can't own up to it. it makes me wonder who i can trust...

oh well :)
*loves you*
underwater thing_happy_phantom on September 17th, 2003 04:52 pm (UTC)
some people are assholes, jade. don't listen to them. I don't think what this person said is true, at all. you called your friend and had her post that you were going to the hospital, because you needed your friends to know, so they'd support you, and so we'd know, rather than just think you disappeared when we'd be expecting a post of how it went with russ.

and whether or not it was right or wrong of you to read russ's email isn't the point ... he really was being dishonest with you and you had a right to feel hurt and betrayed.

this person needs to find something better to do, than to criticize you.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 04:59 pm (UTC)
thankyou, hon.
i really don't mind that this person said this stuff. it really wasn't right of me to read russell's email and then get angry at him for what he wrote to someone -- that was a shitty thing to do, and it is to russell's absolute credit that he DIDN'T use that as a defence, because he would have been full within his right to. i did call a friend to post on my lj because i DIDN'T want people to worry - after how i'd been the day before and the week before, i thought that if i was in hospital for more than an overnight stay and thre weren't any entries, it would have made people worry MORE than an entry saying i was in hospital, i think (i know *I* would have been worrying if a person who was so angry and hurt and out of control suddenly went AWOL - at least if they're in hospital, they're getting treatment).

however, i shouldn't really justify my actions, this person, in my mind, is pretty right in a lot of things he/she said, but for that reason, it doesn't bother me. as i said, it's nothing new! so i'm just laughing about it and rolling my eyes, not being hurt about it. anonymous comments are weak ammunition.

thanks for your support darling, love you xxxx
(no subject) - _happy_phantom on September 18th, 2003 11:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 05:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - _happy_phantom on September 18th, 2003 11:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
kathleenkathleeniefont on September 17th, 2003 05:12 pm (UTC)

i'm sorry you have to deal with this, jade. :/ *hugs*
(no subject) - kisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 06:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - kisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 06:23 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - moonborn on September 18th, 2003 03:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
winterswitchery on September 17th, 2003 05:10 pm (UTC)
Opinions are well and good when they aren't hidden behind cowardice.

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 06:19 pm (UTC)
yeah, exactly. if they had written this and put their name to it, or not made it an anonymous comment (since they obviously have a lj; they've read my friends-only posts), i wouldn't mind at all that they've said it. as i've said in other comments AND my reply to it; i know it's probably true, it's certainly what i've already thought of myself. so i'm not going to flame them down or anything for it; just the fact they had to do it anonymously. that's just gutless. i can't respect people who don't argue face to face, but have to go behind the back to do so because they're too afraid to own up to their words. i figure if you're going to say something, whether it's praise or criticism, don't say it unless you can admit that you did say it.
(no subject) - siva_ on September 30th, 2003 08:46 pm (UTC) (Expand)
emilayo on September 17th, 2003 05:20 pm (UTC)
WTF?! They could have at least left their name and e-mail. Perhaps it was wrong to read the e-mail, but still if I read an e-mail like that from my boyfriend I sure as hell would have screamed and been up in his face about it too. Anyways hun, don't worry about what this person said, your working on getting better now, and thats all that is important. *HUGS U HARD*
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 06:13 pm (UTC)
*mwah* thanks honey
(psst: have started writing your letter :))
i know that reading his email was wrong -- but you know, russell never once got mad at me for that. i apologised for it over & over, and said i shouldn't have been in there in the first place, etcetc, and he never once tried to defend himself with that reasoning. so if he's not mad about it, why the heck should this other person be so righteous about it?
*rolls eyes*
oh well, i don't care too much.i know i was wrong, and i paid for it; it's not as though i didn't get what i deserved, you know? so people can go on about how wrong it is all they like, but i'm gonna just get over it, lol.

will finish your letter SOON :D xxxx
miss okindylove on September 17th, 2003 07:13 pm (UTC)
Jade that really is horrible. What they said, whether it be true or not, should have been owned up to. Only cowards wont put their name to things. It's horrible.

For what it's worth I never said that :)

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 09:02 pm (UTC)
yeah, and who can take to heart something that a coward has said, who can't even own up to saying it?
&i trust you :) xxx
(Deleted comment)
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 08:51 pm (UTC)
the cruelest part of the comment was that they didn't have the balls to leave their name or email or identifying factor. if they said who it was, i wouldn't think it was cruel, just someone saying what they thought was the truth.
but then, if it's so truthful, then why bother to hide *rolls eyes*. you're right, they ARE a coward.
starrykypris on September 17th, 2003 07:14 pm (UTC)
i am dumbfounded. what a shitty thing to do, cripes!! to ease your mind i want to tell you it wasn't me and send big bear hugs your way. <3!
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 07:17 pm (UTC)
Re: eep!
thanks honey, i appreciate that :)
ativan eyesblue_skies on September 17th, 2003 07:29 pm (UTC)
Grrrrr. I hate it when you don't know who to trust on your friends list. I'm kinda going through that right now. Sigh.

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 07:56 pm (UTC)
*hugs* yeah, it sucks hey! :\ i always felt safe here... i hate that feeling of distrust that lurks after something lame like this.
goodluck with yours though!
(no subject) - blue_skies on September 17th, 2003 08:02 pm (UTC) (Expand)
d-elicate: !!!???!!!??handsdown on September 17th, 2003 09:01 pm (UTC)
It was me. Haha, no of course not. But I will beat the person up when I find them. No one messes with my friends! BAM!

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 09:28 pm (UTC)
yeah! :D
If you forget my name.... you will go astray...: bubblesharukalioncourt on September 17th, 2003 09:01 pm (UTC)
*hugs* You just can't let negative people like that get to you.

    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 09:27 pm (UTC)
i'm not :) if they can't admit they said it, by having to go anonymous, then it's not worth getting me down :)
circles & circles & circles againchiffon on September 17th, 2003 09:04 pm (UTC)
Yuck. I don't think you're selfish at all. I would be very mad if one of my friends didn't even have the balls to give me their honest opinion.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 17th, 2003 09:26 pm (UTC)
yeah, i know. i don't mind that they said it, but at least own up to it! friendship isn't about saying ONLY nice things, but it's also not about hiding your opinion under the pretence that "you" didn't say it. i figure if they've taken the time to write that and think it out, then they must believe what they said - but obviously not believed it enough to say it was from! lame!
heh :)
&thanks :)
krystinohsogrand on September 18th, 2003 12:30 am (UTC)
people are so mean. ugh.
i obviously have no idea who it was, but they said "going into hospital" which makes me think it's someone either british or australian, because americans always say "THE hospital."
haha, i sound like some crazy detective. anyway, i hope you're doing well and you get this anonymous mess taken care of! <3
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 18th, 2003 03:13 am (UTC)
hey, i didn't even notice that... that's cool if you're right, it narrows it down so much, which means i don't need to be suspicious of so many people on my friends list that i don't know as well. i hate that feeling that you can't trust someone :\ thanks for that!
(no subject) - ohsogrand on September 18th, 2003 02:14 pm (UTC) (Expand)
for the heart is an organ of fireindiansummers on September 18th, 2003 01:50 am (UTC)
i know i haven't been around for a while, but please don't think that it was me, because i would never even think like that about you. i hope you find out who it was, the last thing you need is for something to attack your already frail insecurities. *big hugs* hope you're ok honey. xo
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 18th, 2003 01:54 am (UTC)
oh, i would NEVER think you would write anything like that!! don't worry at all hon - i know i can trust you.
i hope you're okay sweetie.
linda: weird lightfragilehearted on September 18th, 2003 02:36 am (UTC)
babe, for future reference, why don't you enable IP logging on comments? that way, you can bust the anon commenter.

i of course, deny doing this also, as it has typos, & i of course would proofread something at least 25 times before sending. not to mention that i would not say all that. but i am sorry, b/c i do realize that i may have called you selfish, but actually, i hope that i didn't come across as saying that YOU were selfish, but that the idea of suicide was selfish. b/c i do think suicide is selfish. & i think you chose the unselfish choice in choosing to live.

hint. they are probably in australia or england or such, b/c they spell "realize" as "realise", & they say "rang" instead of "called"...just an idea...probably a friend of russ's...
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on September 18th, 2003 02:40 am (UTC)
hehe, i was just about to go now and turn on ip logging ;) i shouldn't have taken it off after the whole kate incident, but anyway.
i know it wasn't you, i would never think it was you at all!!! why? because you're not gutless. i know that if you thought that, of ANYONE, you would say it to them directly, or sign your name at the bottom, whatever. you're not a coward, and that's why i fucking love you. if you HAD been the one to say that to me, it wouldn't bother me at all, i would see it as a friend giving me honest criticism about my bad behaviour *shrugs* i want my friends to be honest with me, and that's also why i adore you; because you're so amazingly honest, you don't pretend otherwise, and that makes you an incredibly trustworthy person.