i started today at 5:30am and tomorrow will be a sleep-in, monday morning 6:15am. hooray for being back at work for a new week and i know there's not many who say that. my weekends are filled with collages and scrapbooks & travel plans & conversations, and i lovelovelove those days where nothing else seems to matter except expressing yrself through colour & words. i feel so happy & free these days, and for the first time in a very long time, i feel like nothing is holding me back. there are people who love me for being who i am, and i know now that i don't have to pretend otherwise for people to care. when people can accept you for being the real you, it's genuine, and nothing is better than knowing that yr thought of. and i have all of you to thank for that, and i wish i could return the love somehow, especially to those who are hurting.

i make collages out of magazine ads & scribble flb quotes in margins. my room is a tower of travel guides & maps, and i feel like i could fly (if only i wasn't so tired). i watched moulin rouge this afternoon, and i wish i had been a part of the bohemian revolution; somehow i think i could have fit in. and you know, perhaps i'm an odd little pixie who prefers to write stories about girls in rollerskates and create a fantasy world out of glitter & clouds, perhaps i'm just plain weird because i don't like to cruise the city for cheap pickups & alcohol, perhaps i don't belong because i'd prefer to draw stars all over my hands than watch the sports; but i hold my head up high and i say, i don't care. this is my life and i like it. i find contentment in the simplest of ways, and nothing makes me happier than being free to create & write & colour. i'm painting my world the way i want it to be, and while i can't really live in the clouds or dance on stars, i can create my world so that it feels like it anyway. so i feel the same sense of freedom & magic & inspiration as though i really was one with the sky.

i'm trying to feel beautiful and i'm content at last.