it even makes returning to the reality that is work tomorrow somewhat more bearable. one must have money in order to fund such projects after all. especially in the initial stages.
i haven't been so excited about something in ages. but i can't stop thinking, planning, researching. it's all ideas and hypotheticals at the moment, but every project must start somewhere, and i'm inspired and challenged and ...?
it sort of feels like this was the project i was waiting to find to capture me like this. it sort of just feels right, like this creative blend of everything i love and everything i believe in, and actually doing something useful. and i'm still being vague for i don't want to say too much out aloud just yet; there's no full sentences, only feelings and instincts and discovery. i'm trying to hold myself back, just for a while until my decisions are have more basis, my ideas start to become a reality, for after all i have quite the habit of jumping into things and finding out the water isn't deep enough after all. and it's not like it's anything new and original, this distro i want to run, but it actually does mean something to me already. i said in this post that i wanted to do something to make a difference, and this just might be a good way to start going about it. freedom of speech, educating the people, encouraging free expression. and i'm probably not making any sense here at all, just that something inside of me is telling me to DO IT but i can't quite find the words to explain why.
it's just this need i feel. it's just something i have to do. and it's only little and it's not even started yet but i'm feeling a state of excitement i haven't felt in months. i used to always have to be involved in projects in order to feel complete; perhaps i'm getting that old spark back again. i feel like i might finally be doing something that matters, and trying to make a difference, however small right now. and that means so much to me.