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29 April 2004 @ 02:22 pm
yr not the victim  
money is the most evil thing. and i hate that i actually work and not just leach off others and somehow come out at a loss. but there is a satisfaction in working (even if this isn't my ideal job) and i know that there is no way i could go back to being a full-time student again. i hate that everything revolves around money. i feel a bit disillusioned today. also i'm mad because a $50 cheque from an ebay customer couldn't be cashed after all. that was $50 that was going to pay for my health insurance for the next 2 months; now i'm not sure what to do. damn you, international buyers who don't read my disclaimer that i'll only accept paypal for overseas customers before bidding. it's all too much of a headache and i just don't want to think about it anymore. any of it.

i wish there were some good ways of making money that don't require an initial financial outlay at the start. i need to get to to work promoting the distro; not that it was ever intended to be money-making, but it'd be nice if it could even partly support itself. and you know, there's no fucking pride in taking handouts and i like to actually use my brains to earn money; but goodness it would be nice to stop worrying for a change.

(and miss sarah/sparkleoflife - don't you dare think i was referring to you in any of that. god knows that being a mother is THE hardest job in the world, and i'm certainly not begrudging anyone deserving like that. and i know that a lot of you are looking for work, and that certainly isn't any fun at all. it just bugs me when people don't make any effort and just complain about their situations. you know, it wasn't a whole lot of fun working a 20-30hr a week job at the same time as being at uni full-time, but i still did it.

i am really just sick of people who whinge and play the fucking victim all the time. but i'm sure you're going to hate me for being the bitch; perhaps i just have an attitude problem today.)
 
 
 
underwater thing_happy_phantom on April 29th, 2004 03:38 pm (UTC)
i know just what you mean. i had this "friend" a couple of years ago (she's in my LJ way back there)... she just could not keep a job and basically eventually ended up refusing to work, creating these elaborate reasons why she couldn't hold down a job and leeching off of her parents. i HATED listening to her complain-- i have been working since i was 15. grrrr. and you have to just suck it up and do it. i do, anyway.

this was comforting to read, just to know i'm NOT the only one who works full time & comes out broke anyway.
coda_withbellson_ on April 29th, 2004 08:23 pm (UTC)
hmmm. i confess to whining but i never play the victim. hope that doesn't come across in my lj. i know how it feels to be out of work, looking for work, and to be forced to take handouts. i also know what it's like to stay in jobs and careers that are horrible, stressful, and that you hate. i've been on both sides and neither one is really pretty. now my goal is to just be happy despite what i'm doing to earn the green stuff.
hope you feel better soon. i can relate.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on April 30th, 2004 12:43 am (UTC)
you don't play the victim at all, at least not to me. venting/ranting/complaining are one thing - pitying & being all like "oh i have no money, i'm just a poor student, i can't afford anything woe is me" is another (well, depending on the context of course). i've also been in jobs that have made me unhappy, and i always said that happiness and satisfaction was worth more than any amount of money. so i completely know where you're coming from.