scarlet's walk (kisstheviolets) wrote,
scarlet's walk
kisstheviolets

making up my mind

I know people will be disappointed but I've pretty much decided I am going to go home early. For 6 - 8 months or so, to help Dad with his new business. I'm planning on getting a return ticket so that I can come back next June and continue doing what I set out to do here (ie, work/live/travel).

Everyone (here) has been telling me to stay and while I'd probably say the exact same thing to someone else in this situation, I just feel too guilty, too selfish to do so. I need to go back and for once, be there for my family when they need me. How can I ever feel right about being out here, doing my own thing, when my family so obviously could use my help back home? This is the first time they have ever needed me like this; they're not asking me to come back, but how could I possibly stay away?

I tell myself (and everyone else) that this is just putting my travel/London plans on hold; I'll be back before a year is up, and then I can continue without the feelings of guilt and obligation over me. Let me help them get off the ground, and then I can spread my own wings to fly.

If I'm disappointing you then I'm sorry, but I would be disappointing myself even more if I was to stay. Maybe you wouldn't do the same thing, but this is my life, and for once, if only once, I choose not to be selfish.
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