scarlet's walk (kisstheviolets) wrote,
scarlet's walk

taking risks for a new year

I want to continue [doing a lot of things I always wanted to do] in 2001. To keep trying new things, to not be scared to make mistakes, to keep learning and experimenting. To take control of my life and MAKE things happen. Sometimes things won't work out too well... but everything you do, you can learn from. - jan 1, 2001

Looking back on the year that was: I think I achieved most of what I stated right at the beginning of the year. To do new things and take some risks; nothing ever went as planned, yet nothing was an ultimate disappointment either.

2001 could be summed up in 2 words: "Noises Off". The play I directed, working on it from February to August, making the best group of friends ever. So many memories, new friendships, new experiences. Even though the play itself was over by the end of August, the latter part of the year consisted of parties and other social events; events which I would look forward to during the week, because it meant seeing all those people again. Some people I don't see too much anymore, others I talk to on a regular basis, but they all mean so much to me, and if nothing else this year, I'm so grateful for that opportunity to get to meet everyone who was a part of the Noises Off experience. When Jeremy and I first started working on this production [February 14, 2001], I had no idea that 1 year later, I would consider some of these people amongst my closest friends. Qudsia and I once talked about how theatre relationships + friendships had a habit of not lasting; you go into the experience and meet some amazing people, but once the show it over, you return to your own world, to the real world. I'm so glad to still be in contact with some of the Noises Off people, even 5 months later.

Almost everything else seems to pale in comparison to the Noises Off experience[s], but other noteworthy events include patching up an 8-year friendship with Sarah, being in an Operetta, "Waltzes from Vienna", becoming better friends with people at work, finally enjoying going clubbing, and finding a sort of... solace in how I look. It's taken 21 years to be happy with the way I look, but now I can finally not be so afraid to try new things and take risks with my appearance [amongst other things]. And maybe it doesn't sound like much, but confidence really does make a difference.

2002: this will be the year of change. By not being at uni anywhere near full-time, I'm changing a routine that's been 16 years in the making. Moving out of home [hopefully], working a lot more, and being a counsellor at Lifeline is all a recipe for experience. But for once, I have no expectations for the year. No over-riding prospects, not even any real resolutions; I'm just going to take it as it comes, and make the most of whatever situations I can. If you live your life trying to change the way you are, perhaps you're forgetting to live in the first place.

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