Log in

No account? Create an account
08 October 2006 @ 11:01 pm
contact details  
Thankyou all for your support, your kind comments and thoughts. I appreciate it so, so much.

I will be back in Adelaide from Wednesday. In transit from tomorrow afternoon.
My phone number back in Australia is 0408 807 362 (+61 408 807 362 from overseas),
I'm not sure how long I'm going to be back home for. Everything is up in the air at the moment. I will likely return to London in a couple of weeks to get my things and tie up loose ends, with my room and job and everything else, even if I decide to go back home permanently (which is looking like the most probable scenario right now).

My email is jade @ faerywinged.org, please email me, stay in touch, recommend books or music or people to talk to, just say hi.
Remind me that life still goes on, because it feels impossible right now.
Or anything that you think will help.
I'm going to suggest grief counselling for my mother.
I don't know what else to do :(

If anyone else has been through this, please talk to me, if you can... it's like it somehow helps a little bit, to know that other people have been through losses like this, and can still somehow go on. I need to know this right now, I need to know how, how to make it stop hurting so much, how to stop from biting on my clenched fists to dull the screaming inside. I know it must be possible, somehow, someday, but it really feels so impossible.

How does life go on again?
kiki on October 8th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
my mother died in 1993. i had just turned 12 two months before. it was a shock. she hadn't been sick. she just collapsed in her chair while watching tv. my father and i were home, my sister out with friends. within hours she had died.

it's not easy. but you find ways to survive. you remember the good things and keep them alive in your heart. you live because you know it's what they would have wanted.

i wish you the best and will send positive thoughts your way. *hugs*
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 04:36 am (UTC)
thankyou, sweetheart.
I'm so sorry about your mother. What a shock :(
It's so hard to think of living on after something like this,
but I know you're right.
Emilia Rothschildetherealshores on October 8th, 2006 10:13 pm (UTC)
I'll defintely e-mail you, darling. And I'll send you all the positive thoughts that I can.

Aubreystarja on October 8th, 2006 10:18 pm (UTC)
I will definitely keep in touch.
?starlakitty on October 8th, 2006 10:33 pm (UTC)
i cannot eve begin to imagine what you are going through. but i will still try to offer as much as support and positive thought as i can. its hard to remember, but life does go on. just keep the good memories alive in your heart.

(((hugs))) to you, darling.

Extra Strength Wanderlustvaysha on October 8th, 2006 10:50 pm (UTC)
dear jade,
I do know how you feel. My own pappy died january 23rd 2003
here (http://vaysha.livejournal.com/236840.html?mode=reply)
I miss him so much. His leaving has left a hole in the fabric of our family where his presence filled it with tradition and family gatherings and the host,maker of our family feasts and get togethers. It will take time to heal. Honor his memory, laugh and cry at the good and bad times you shared, remember the man he was and the things he taught you- in this way you keep his spirit alive. I promise you the pain will rest in a quieter place with time. Just be sure to let yourself hurt and cry. Treasure life more as you realize in his passing how brief and precious life is and remember more keenly to say I love you to those left.

The loss carries lessons with it and life's beauty manages somehow to shine through in the little things even as our hearts hurt and we cry for the loss of the person we love.


P.S You must read A Gracious Plenty by Sheri Reynolds it will soothe your heart right now especially.

you are loved and thought of.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 04:44 am (UTC)
Hi sweetie,
Thankyou for sharing this. I am so sorry for your loss too. It makes me sad, knowing that other people have been through this pain too. On the flip side, maybe there's a positive to it too, because it also means that people have been able to move on, not to forget but to keep living. It seems impossible to me right now.
Thankyou, again.
fructiferousfructiferous on October 8th, 2006 11:07 pm (UTC)
oh jade. i hadn't read my friends page for days until this morning. my heart just aches for you and your family. i cannot imagine how painful this is. it isn't fair. i am just so sorry to hear this, i don't know what to say. all of my love to you and your family. my warmest thoughts, my kindest words.

have you considered grief counselling for yourself? i think it may help.

i don't know how life goes on, i think it just does. you are in my thoughts jade. much love.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 04:55 am (UTC)
thanks honey.
i might look into grief counselling later in the week, or something.
much love darling.
Felicityi_am_she on October 8th, 2006 11:50 pm (UTC)
It feels cheesey/trite/not good enough, but life goes on, day by day. The emptiness will probably never fade completely, but time will fill it with other things, normal, everyday things. That's not a disservice to his memory or his love for you - that's the natural way of things.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 04:58 am (UTC)
thanks honey.
it's just so hard right now :(
k.tinyvictories on October 9th, 2006 12:13 am (UTC)
perhaps you could benefit from grief counseling, as well. i doubt it could hurt, you know?

i personally haven't gone through this, however once i did randomly come across an lj community about this sort of thing. i don't know if you feel ready to open up to strangers or if you'll ever want to do that, but imissmydad may be helpful; there are a lot of other people out there who have gone through & are going through what you are right now.

life will go on. it won't be easy, but you will get through it. take care of yourself right now. ♥
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 04:59 am (UTC)
yeah, I might look into it later in the week.
thanks for the community link - i'll have a look at it.
remember to breatheturtles_path on October 9th, 2006 12:21 am (UTC)
one of my best friends mom died suddenly last fall and while her world will never be the same again, life is going on, slowly but surely.

it IS UNFAIR. and in it's own way, very natural. there are lessons that will come from this, i promise. and while i wouldn't wish them upon you in this mannor, they will be some of the most important that you take and keep with you for the rest of your life.

your daddy will always be alive in your heart, sweet jade. cherish him and in the coming weeks, months, and years, don't be afraid to talk about him and share your memories of him with people you care about and especially people who care about him. all of them, happy, sad and in between.

you will find your way, again. and you won't be alone. *love you much*
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 05:00 am (UTC)
thankyou sweetheart.
i hope your mom is doing better honey. i've been thinking of you too.
jessicasea__secret on October 9th, 2006 01:49 am (UTC)
like i said in my last comment--i haven't lost my father, but i did lose a best friend, and you know that story. and your posts after you first found out reminded me a lot of how I posted right after Jen died. wanting so badly for it to just be a dream that you could just wake up from.

and i don't know how exactly, but life does go on--that's the beauty of life, you know? and eventually we find meaning in loss, we really do, even though it feels at the time like we won't ever. and the hardest thing, just like with a breakup i guess, is being told by everyone that it will get better with time, but not being able to believe that it will. you feel like it will never get better, but it will, it really will.

don't dull the screaming inside. scream like hell.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 05:02 am (UTC)
thanks sweetie.
i am trying to believe it, that things will get better.
i just feel so lost :(

love you.
(no subject) - sea__secret on October 18th, 2006 04:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(Deleted comment)
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 05:04 am (UTC)
thankyou sweetheart, for all of this.
   ++   Sparkle Of Life   ++sparkleoflife on October 9th, 2006 02:33 am (UTC)
i have sent you an email and a text ! *mega mega mega huggles* I love you girl!!
love graffiti dancing in the streetsurban_ballerina on October 9th, 2006 04:50 am (UTC)
i let my boyfriend know of you sad loss, he lost his mother a few years ago and he got through it. You never stop missing them, but he said he would gladly like to talk you about stuff, if thats what you want. Ive seen my auntie die and all and that was hard, but I can never imagine loosing my parents. i dont want to. my mum and dad are sweet because they treat adrian like part of the family as he has no mum or dad (did just before he was born). Life is so harsh. Sometimes I could sink into mud. your dad sounds like such a special sweet man, i know he is always in your heart. make sure you keep support close.

much love,
love graffiti dancing in the streetsurban_ballerina on October 9th, 2006 04:52 am (UTC)
oh and adrian went to grief counselling and found that really helpful. you might want to give it a go too. he just did it via uni. but yeah...i feel like I have a million things to say to you but everything I write feels so stupid.
(no subject) - kisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 05:07 am (UTC) (Expand)
here i stand with this sword in my handpresqueciel on October 9th, 2006 09:02 am (UTC)
this is the first time i've managed to get online in over two weeks.

jade, i'm so sorry. i don't know what to say. i'm so so sorry.
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 05:08 am (UTC)
Marnie: rain go awaytypicalfemale on October 9th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
Jade, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to comment earlier but I've been away from LiveJournal for four days so this is my first time hearing about this. I am so, so sorry about your dad, I can't even express the sadness I feel for you right now. Neither of my parents have died, so I can't say I understand, but Ed's father died in May of 2005 and we spent a good hour in Ireland visiting his grave and talking to him, and it still seems so unreal. He and his mother always talk about him and they miss him so much and when I see Ed talk about him and his eyes well up I can't fathom the sorrow he must be going through. He said something before we left Ireland like, "Your father isn't supposed to die before you become a man." With you also being young, I can imagine how strange it must feel, the parent is not supposed to die before their child.

I am really sorry to hear about this Jade, please let me know if there is absolutely anything I can do. Nobody should have to go through what you and your family are experiencing right now, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Please take good care of yourself in these next couple of difficult days, okay?

*hugs you*
    scarlet's walkkisstheviolets on October 15th, 2006 05:12 am (UTC)
thankyou, sweetheart.
I'm sorry for Ed's loss too, it's just like, it feels like it shouldn't happen until we're all so much older, when we might be better equipped to deal with it (or can perhaps feel as though they had the long life they deserved, and not gotten cheated out of half of it)
I really appreciate your thoughts honey.

I hope Glasgow is being kind to you.