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25 December 2006 @ 06:45 pm
christmas without Dad  
We survived Christmas.

Last night was probably the most difficult part, Christmas drinks with my Dad's side of the family.
It broke my heart to see my cousin with her little baby, and how proud her father, my Dad's brother, was with his grandson.
I wanted that so badly with my Dad, to one day have my Dad there with a grandchild to be play with and be proud of. He would have been an awesome grandfather one day.
I ached & ached & ached. I miss my Dad so much.


We had lunch with my Mum's side of the family today. My aunt Kate, whom I admire very much, is setting up her own fashion & accessory design business (after years of working for other people in that industry), and she wants ME to help her. She wants me to design a range of notebooks, day planners and other corporate-yet-stylish stationery, as well as set up her website and other things. I am beyond excited, and so proud of my aunt for branching out on her own and following her dreams like this. And incredibly touched, that she said to my Nan weeks ago that she wanted my help with it all, because she thinks I'm artistic, and announced to everyone today that I was her first employee. She has business plans in motion, and despite this being a really horrible time right now, I feel a spark of my old self returning. The old self that used to believe in dreams, that big plans could come true, not destroy you.

My aunt gave me the best Christmas present I could have received (apart from the obvious); she gave me permission to dream again. And believe.

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas, I really do.
jessicasea__secret on December 25th, 2006 09:21 am (UTC)
your aunt kate is heaven sent. <3
    scarlet's walk: she is dreamingkisstheviolets on December 25th, 2006 09:58 am (UTC)
she is wonderful ♥
how are you going honey?
jessicasea__secret on December 29th, 2006 02:24 pm (UTC)
i'm okay, for the most part. things are okay.

you got you a fast horse darlin'thebluebells on December 25th, 2006 10:19 am (UTC)

That job sounds PERFECT for you, sweetheart! :D I am not at all surprised that your aunt asked you to help her, I know that you will be amazing! *hugs* Love you so much angel xxx
Emilia Rothschild: colourful balloonsetherealshores on December 25th, 2006 10:44 am (UTC)
*Jumps up and down and squeals excitedly*

I agree, you are just perfect for the job, darling! ♥ ♥ ♥

I can't wait to see your creations when you make them, you are so artistic they will be stunning! *hugs*
coco__: drift awaycoco__ on December 25th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)
Love your icon.
coco__: candy cane pocketcoco__ on December 25th, 2006 04:37 pm (UTC)
That's so exciting!
starmiranda on December 25th, 2006 05:11 pm (UTC)
I'm keeping you in my thoughts today, dearheart. love to you. xoxo
Tacohello_leannie on December 26th, 2006 10:55 am (UTC)
I think that's totally great that you'll be working for your aunt. It sounds like something you'll really enjoy doing! :)
a is for the ache in achilles: springturnedoffneon on December 26th, 2006 05:29 pm (UTC)
that sounds like a fantastic opportunity ♥
Cristal Dawncrizzles on December 26th, 2006 09:18 pm (UTC)
*Hugs* Merry Christmas sweetie, that job sounds like awesomeness :)
Crystalcrystalina on December 27th, 2006 06:34 am (UTC)
Miss Worldbrokenbabydoll on December 27th, 2006 06:26 pm (UTC)
I'm so happy for you, that you'll be doing the things you love once again. ♥
Botticelli Babebotticellibabe on December 27th, 2006 09:10 pm (UTC)
Bless your aunt.
I'm glad it was okay - and you are starting to sound like yourself again. ♥