I have loved this production, but I will be so glad when it's over. 4 more days [and counting]. And no matter what people say, I can't help feeling a little disillusioned about everything. I just need a break. I need to remember that I'm not defined by this production, and any failures or successes we earn through doing this, does not have full bearing on who I am as a person.
I feel so overwhelmed, and it's made me so passive. I told Qudsia this on the way home from rehearsal tonight (which was pretty much a waste of time), and she told me not to worry, that she thought I had done a good job, and that it was a huge job for all of us. Somehow, it doesn't really make me feel better. In some ways, I feel like I've let a lot of people down, but at the same time... I almost don't care anymore.
4 more days. 3 more performances. That's all.
And somehow, I've turned into this person that I don't like. I just need for this to be over, so I can stop doubting myself, and stop beating myself up over those things I can't control.