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25 October 2009 @ 07:42 pm
"Life is so much dark and light, day cannot exist without a night"  
I am really happy at the moment. I have had a wonderful weekend; reconnecting with old friends (hello, do you remember who I am?) & spending time with Noel & doing things that have been lingering on my to-do list for ages. Listening to wonderful music & watching political documentaries & even starting some wedding planning! I cooked a Jamie Oliver potato bake last night to have with dinner, and although I used too much stock so it took twice as long to cook, it turned out beautifully. Millie said to me when I was bemoaning the fact it would take 3 hours to cook, don't worry, you can try recipes and if they don't work, then you try them again! because she is a smart little thing & sometimes I need a 10-year old's wisdom.

I went & saw a play on Friday night with an old friend, & later on that night a discussion with another friend (who was in the play) turned into a question of whether I would ever be interested in directing again; the theatre company likes to introduce new directors to its shows. I felt like a door that was once firmly closed had started to open again; but I shut that door for a reason, right? I don't think it's ever something I could do again, but 8, 9 years ago, the theatre world was my life. That was another lifetime ago. I briefly entertained the thought of stepping into it again, but I don't think it's for me anymore. I would love for it to be, but I am changed; I am happy with the way things are right now. I am leaving that door closed.

I feel very content & happy at the moment. I love my job & my work; I am excited for the future & eager to be challenged. Little things fill me with joy, like finding live recordings of shows by my favourite artists & seeing The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus next weekend (I am almost more excited about this than I was about Harry Potter!) & delicious snacks & making packages for friends. There is less than 3 weeks until thebluebells & Noel & I start travelling to see Tori. I am so blessed & grateful for everything I have.
 
 
 
 
 
Marnietypicalfemale on October 25th, 2009 02:28 pm (UTC)
I know how you feel about directing. I used to love it so much but there's a time & a place for things that you love, and some things just need to stay in the past. That's why people change. I don't think that you'd find it difficult to get going with it again after being away from it for so long, but it's something so demanding that if your heart & soul isn't in it, you're screwed. You're doing the right thing, I know how you felt.

Millie is right! And almost any meal can be salvaged. Whenever I try to make something Ed is always shadowing me and I tell him, "Hey, we're not starving, right? We can buy more food if this sucks? So let me cook the food and shut up!" Haha. :)